My biggest concern about life as a new mom was "will I have any friends?" Of course, I knew I would still have all my best friends, but as the only one with a baby, I figured it would be more difficult to find things to do that were fun for them and practical for us. Before I was pregnant, going out meant high heels, vodka, and sleeping on someone's couch. The memories I made with my friends when I was young(er) and single are not that far behind me. And a hungover breakfast burrito sounds awesome right about now.
I will go ahead and state the obvious: that with the profound blessings of marriage and motherhood, come equally profound changes in your social life. Not that they're bad. Most nights, I honestly would rather sit on the couch with my husband and watch reruns of Man vs. Food than just about anything else. And now that Henry is here, sorry, babysitters are effing expensive and we have to be home by 8pm to start the bedtime stuff. I wouldn't change my life for anything in the world, but yeah, sometimes I feel nostalgic for the times when I was single and worried I would die alone. But here we are: married with a baby. Check and check. I know, I hate me sometimes, too.
But back to that concern about the reality of how having a baby changes your social life, I specifically remember having a conversation with my husband in which I was wondering who the hell I was going to hang out with other than our parents. At the time, joining "mom groups" seemed so lame and so not me. I would poke around forums for Houston moms and see postings about people in my area who wanted to meet up for play dates and I was like ugh no thanks.
Well, let me tell you. Never in my life have I experienced anything create such an instant friendship as motherhood. It's like everyone I meet with a baby is my new BFF. It's not just new friends that I have made. A lot of my mom friends are people I have known for years, but for whatever reason I was not super close with. I have Facebook to thank for a lot of that. I've reached out to people and people have reached out to me, and simply put, it's so great. Of course, having a blog about mom stuff probably makes me somewhat more approachable when it comes to talking about babies. And if friendship is all I ever gain from this whole thing, then there isn't much more I could ask for.
The other main contributor to my new found popularity is Baby Boot Camp. I will never grow tired of telling people how awesome BBC is, because it's been the best thing ever since I had Henry. A. It gives Henry and I an outing every day. B. It's a workout. C. I get to question a think tank of mom's whenever I have a problem or concern. And D. Henry and I both have new friends.
On top of that, we pretty much never turn down an invitation to do something. Even if conflicts with nap time, I will usually say yes. We've gone on triple dates with other families, gone to mommy matinees, played at a baby gym, etc.. I say this as a suggestion to be as proactive as possible when you're a mom about making and keeping friends. This is especially true if you're a stay at homer with limited adult contact. I know I have made it sound like my life looks like the opening credits to Clueless, but there are many days when it just me and the baby. And those days are long, and sometimes you can feel a little lonely or isolated.
On top of that, we pretty much never turn down an invitation to do something. Even if conflicts with nap time, I will usually say yes. We've gone on triple dates with other families, gone to mommy matinees, played at a baby gym, etc.. I say this as a suggestion to be as proactive as possible when you're a mom about making and keeping friends. This is especially true if you're a stay at homer with limited adult contact. I know I have made it sound like my life looks like the opening credits to Clueless, but there are many days when it just me and the baby. And those days are long, and sometimes you can feel a little lonely or isolated.
My social butterfly...
For now, all of Henry's little baby friends are girls. He needs a little bromance in his life. Because you know... when you dress your son in vnecks and make him watch the Beyonce documentary with you, he could probably use some male camaraderie.
The main point of this post is to say, to all my friends, both old and new... You make being mom 100 times more fun, and I appreciate you more than I probably get across. I guess, for me, I have so much appreciation for anyone that is a new mom, that I can't help but feel like we're all in this together. Like we're all teammates. And we all really want the best for each other. So if you're a mom and want to be my friends, you just have to be reasonably close to me in age and laugh at my jokes. Other than that, we don't need to have too much else in common.
Love,
Lauren
No comments:
Post a Comment